Unplugging for Vacation
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As a pediatric ophthalmologist and mom of three, I know firsthand how difficult it can be to truly disconnect. Many of us tell ourselves we're taking time off while quietly bringing work with us. We set our out-of-office replies, board the plane, arrive somewhere beautiful, and then spend half the trip mentally sitting at our desks.
I know this because I’ve done it myself. I’ve logged into payroll from Italy while surrounded by incredible architecture, and I’ve checked emails from beach chairs because I convinced myself a “quick check-in” would only take a few minutes. Then something unexpected happened. Before a family trip, I accidentally left my phone at home. By the time I realized it, we were already through airport security and there was no turning back. What I expected to feel was panic. What I actually felt was relief.
It ended up being one of the most restorative weeks I’d had in years, and it completely changed how I thought about rest and recovery.
In this episode of In Focus: Vision, Clarity and Eye Health for the Whole Family, I explored the neuroscience behind why so many of us struggle to disconnect and what happens inside our brains when we think we’re resting while we’re actually still working.
Why This Topic Matters Right Now
Technology has completely transformed how we work and live. Emails follow us everywhere, notifications appear constantly, and most of us can access our work from almost anywhere in the world. For physicians, business owners, parents, and professionals carrying significant responsibility, that constant accessibility often starts to feel normal.
Many of us quietly begin equating availability with responsibility. We tell ourselves that being reachable means we’re dependable, dedicated, and committed. But there is an important difference between being responsible and being perpetually activated.
Our brains were never designed to remain in a constant state of vigilance. While technology has evolved quickly and made it possible for us to work from virtually anywhere, our nervous systems have not adapted at the same pace. The question isn’t whether we can work from vacation. The question is whether our brains ever truly stop working.
The Myth of the “Quick Check-In”
One of the biggest lies many of us tell ourselves is that checking one email or quickly responding to one message is harmless. We assume that taking two minutes to open our inbox won’t affect the rest of our day, but neurologically that isn’t how our brains operate.
The moment we open work-related tasks, our brains immediately begin shifting into problem-solving mode. If we see a staffing issue, a billing concern, a complication, or something requiring our attention, our stress response can activate almost instantly. Heart rate subtly changes, breathing patterns shift, and stress hormones begin circulating.
Physically, we may still be sitting beside a pool holding a tropical drink, but mentally our nervous system has already moved back into work mode.
The Brain Needs More Than Physical Rest
One of the most fascinating concepts we discussed involved something called the default mode network, often referred to as the DMN. This is a network within the brain that becomes active when we aren’t focused on tasks, notifications, or external demands.
The default mode network plays an important role in cognitive recovery, memory formation, creativity, empathy, reflection, and big-picture thinking. In many ways, it’s where genuine restoration happens.
The problem is that every interruption pulls us back into task-focused thinking. When we repeatedly move between vacation and work mode, our brains never remain in recovery long enough to benefit from it.
This may help explain why so many people return from long trips feeling exhausted or joking that they need a vacation after their vacation. Sometimes that feeling has less to do with travel itself and more to do with the fact that our brains never actually stopped working.
The Science Behind Why We Can’t Let Go
Two psychological concepts help explain why disconnecting can feel so difficult.
The first is attention residue, which suggests that when we move from one task to another, our brains do not fully transition immediately. Part of our attention remains attached to what we were previously doing. You may physically be sitting at dinner with your family while mentally replaying an email you opened hours earlier.
The second concept is known as the Zeigarnik Effect, which shows that human beings tend to remember unfinished tasks more than completed ones. When you check your inbox and discover unresolved problems that you cannot realistically solve while on vacation, your brain continues processing those open loops in the background.
Even after putting your phone away, part of your attention remains trapped there.
Building Systems That Allow You to Step Away
One lesson I’ve learned over time is that if a business completely depends on one person being available at every moment, there may be systems that still need to be built.
Early in my practice, leaving felt impossible. Over time, however, we created protocols, delegated responsibilities, trained leadership, and developed systems that clearly defined what actually required my attention and what could be managed by capable people around me.
Something interesting happened as those systems improved: the team rose to the occasion.
People are often more capable than we expect, and sometimes the biggest barrier is not a lack of ability but our own belief that only we can solve the problem. Building systems is not simply about efficiency or productivity. It’s also about creating enough trust and structure to allow ourselves permission to step away.
Creating Digital Boundaries
Even with strong systems in place, technology creates another challenge because many of the platforms we use every day are designed to capture and keep our attention.
As someone who creates content and uses social media professionally, I understand how easy it can be to justify opening an app for work. You tell yourself you’re just uploading a post or checking something quickly, but one action often becomes five others. Before long, you’re reading messages, checking comments, looking at analytics, and scrolling through content.
Suddenly your brain is back in work mode.
I’m still working on this myself, but I’ve realized that protecting our own cognitive boundaries may be just as important as protecting them for our children. Creating stronger digital limits before vacations begin, scheduling content ahead of time, and reducing unnecessary check-ins can create more space for true recovery.
Final Thoughts
Modern life creates a constant expectation that we remain available. We often celebrate busyness and wear exhaustion like proof that we’re working hard enough. I understand that mindset because I’ve lived it, and I still catch myself falling into it.
What I’ve learned, however, is that being constantly connected is not the same thing as being fully present.
Our brains need genuine rest, and our families deserve more than our physical presence alone. They deserve our attention, our engagement, and our ability to actually experience the moments we work so hard to create.
We do not need to disappear from our responsibilities or do any of this perfectly. Small changes matter. Building systems, protecting boundaries, and creating intentional space for recovery can have a profound impact over time.
Sometimes unplugging is not about escaping work. Sometimes it is simply about giving ourselves permission to return fully to the people and experiences that matter most.
Want to Learn More?
You can subscribe to my podcast, In Focus, anywhere you listen — or follow along on Instagram for updates and tips.
Watch this episode on YouTube right now!
Thanks for reading — and for doing what you can to protect your family's vision, health, and well-being, one step at a time.
– Dr. Rupa Wong
Pediatric Ophthalmologist | Surgeon | Mom of 3
This episode is brought to you by The Pinnacle Podcast Network! Learn more about Pinnacle at learnatpinnacle.com
