Your kid misses the shot, comes in last, or freezes at the start of a race, and then says the sentence that stops you cold: "I'm bad at this." The instinct is to reassure them. Two-time Olympian Shelley Oates-Wilding says the words kids repeat about themselves matter more, and she has a specific response when she hears it on the water.
In this episode of the In Focus podcast, pediatric ophthalmologist Dr. Rupa Wong talks with Coach Shelley Oates-Wilding, a two-time Olympic kayaker for Australia and founder of Ikaika Hawaii. Shelley explains what she does when a young athlete puts themselves down, the label parents use that can stick for years, and why most people who drown can swim. She also shares how a kid's confidence can change in a single week, and why coming last is sometimes the best thing that can happen.
Building Confidence in Kids: What an Olympic Coach Does Differently with Shelley Oates-Wilding
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IN THIS EPISODE:
00:00 What Can Kids Learn From Youth Sports?
02:14 Why Shelley Founded Ikaika Hawaii
03:57 Shelley's Journey to the Olympics
08:18 What Makes a Good Youth Sports Coach?
11:24 Water Safety for Kids: Is Swimming Enough?
14:33 How Do You Teach a Kid Not to Panic?
17:02 How Coaches Help Nervous Kids Build Confidence
19:48 How Do the Labels We Give Kids Affect Them?
22:03 What Is the Olympic Journey Really Like?
24:16 How to Help Kids With Negative Self-Talk
29:47 Is Competition Good for Kids?
31:37 Are Kids Following Their Passion or Their Parents'?
35:03 The ASPIRE Philosophy: Life Skills Through Sports
40:50 How Do You Help Kids Handle Disappointment?
44:22 What Shelley Wishes Parents Knew
47:17 Letting Kids Choose Their Own Path
50:23 Social Media and Comparison in Kids
GUEST RESOURCES:
Ikaika Hawaii: https://www.ikaikahawaii.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ikaikahawaii
IN FOCUS WITH DR. RUPA WONG:
YouTube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQ6yGQlJEBHouNHGZJgsAPspu4nJhrDRd&si=-G1WPggk3LzjHyz9
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/in-focus/id1569697237
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3en4olHWr48cyWaUikrcje?si=c606ebf291294d03
HOST RESOURCES:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drrupawong
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrRupaWong
Newsletter: https://www.drrupawong.com/sign-up
Become a Patient: https://www.honolulueyeclinic.com
Earn FREE CE/CME Credits: https://learnatpinnacle.com
This episode is brought to you by The Pinnacle Podcast Network!
ABOUT DR. RUPA WONG:
Rupa Wong, MD is an Ivy League trained board certified pediatric ophthalmologist and adult strabismus surgeon, wife, mom to 3 kids, entrepreneur, and the managing partner of Honolulu Eye Clinic for the past 15 years. She is passionate about helping the modern working mom focus on what matters most as she balances her ambition, her career, her family, and herself.
Disclaimer: Rupa Wong, MD, is a doctor, but she is not your doctor. This content is for general education and is not a substitute for individualized medical care.
